A Lamb to the Slaughter
by King in Yellow
Summary: With Kim and Shego going out of town Hego volunteers to babysit his nieces, Kasy and Sheki. What could go wrong? It's in times of crisis that families stick together, right? Not that Hego expects any kind of crisis... He sees it as a chance to show his sister he still loves her, despite her unusual (in his opinion) lifestyle. Best Enemies series
1. A Lamb to the Slaughter

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

NoDrogs created Kasy and Sheki in A Small Possibility. They have a different origin in my stories.

**A Lamb to the Slaughter**

"What do you mean, a mission came up?" Shego demanded, the irritation obvious in her voice.

"I mean, a mission came up," Kim snapped. "Look, I didn't ask for it. I told them I was needed at home."

"Well tell Global Justice you won't go," the green woman ordered. "This CLE is important. I've had it booked for months. This is for big shots, and it means a ton of office points for me. Alice had to fight to get me in and I'm not going to let GJ screw this up for me."

"Global Justice doesn't design its schedule for you. Look, I told you I didn't ask for this. This was a request, from a head of state I helped years ago. It's like an international insult if I don't go."

"Does Global Justice pay the bills around here? It's my job that's going to put the food on the table and–"

"And that's more important than the European Economic Conference?"

"Kim, you're not a president or prime minister. You're only security and–" Shego stopped and took a deep breath. "Sorry. Your job is important. I know that. But this is important, and I can't take the girls with me."

"I know. And I can't take them either. Look, it's my assignment that caused the problem. I'll find someone to watch the girls." Kim paused for a moment. "Can I call your mom? We'll pay for the flight... Your Dad has classes, right?"

"Yeah," Shego agreed. "Give her a call. She claims she doesn't see enough of the twins."

"And I promise, if she can't come I'll find someone else. I'll beg Tara, or maybe Zita. I'll find somebody."

"You'd better."

After supper Shego took Kasy and Sheki on a walk to the park while Kim stayed home to find someone who could watch the girls for several days on short notice.

Kim hardly said a word to Shego when the trio returned from the park. She took the twins upstairs and watched them brush teeth and change into pajamas before reading them a story and kissing them each good-night.

Closing the twin's bedroom door behind her Kim paused at the head of the stair and took a deep breath before steeling her nerves to go downstairs and tell Shego that Kasy and Sheki would be taken care of while they were both out of town.

Shego was watching television when Kim entered the room and sat beside her on the couch.

"I found–" Kim began.

"Shhh," Shego hissed. "Great scene coming up."

Perfectly willing to delay the inevitable as long as possible Kim put an arm around her wife and cuddled close.

"What was that?" the redhead asked as the film ended on TCM.

"Midnight. Billy Wilder's first film after coming to the US. Classic screwball comedy."

"The phone scene was great."

"I liked the line with the roller skate. So, can my mom come and watch the girls?"

"I, uh, have some good news and some bad news."

"I asked, can my mom come and watch the girls?"

"And I answered, I have some good news and some bad news."

"Okay, bad news first. Mom can't make it?"

"Your mom can't make it," Kim confirmed.

"Shit. You said there was good news. Tara? Zita? That homeless guy in the raincoat and no pants we see at the bus stop some mornings?"

"I've asked you not to use that word."

"What word? Raincoat?"

"You know what word. You set a bad example for the twins."

"What word? You can say it, Kim. You're an adult. The twins are upstairs."

"I won't say it. The important thing is I found a volunteer."

"The Japanese equivalent for Hear! Hear! Hear!"

"What?"

"Line from the Mikado after 'I found a volunteer'. Anyway, who?"

"Henry."

"Henry?"

"Your brother."

"Shit, shit, shit–"

"Shego!"

"Fucking damn bloody Hell! How could you ask–"

"I didn't ask him! He was visiting your parents. And when your mom said she couldn't make it he took the phone and said he could."

"You should have told him no."

"We need someone to watch the girls. I just told your mom we needed someone."

"We don't need him. He's going to tell the girls it's wrong for two women to love each other."

"No he won't."

"And you can't trust him. The bastard backed out of our wedding."

"He was at the wedding."

"He backed out of being a canopy bearer. I tried to make nice. That was an honor! All he had to do was stand there holding the damn pole, and he wouldn't even do that. That was like a slap in the face – to both of us."

"And when he was in trouble you dropped everything and went to rescue him."

"That wasn't for him. That was for the Wegos. That was for Mom and Dad. And anyway, that was an emergency."

"So is this, remember? And he's dropped things to help you before. Give him the benefit of the doubt."

Shego did not look happy, "Okay, but if we get back and he's tried to brainwash the girls into thinking two women loving each other is wrong, it's your fault."

"He won't do any such thing," Kim assured Shego, mentally crossing her fingers. "He's your brother. You love each other. He's just having a little trouble with the idea of his sister loving another woman. Five days watching the girls and he'll see what a wonderful family we have and get over his prejudice."

"We'll see. But that wasn't bad news and good news. It was bad news and worse news."

* * *

><p>The twins were still in school when Kim picked up Hego at the airport the next day. "Thanks so much," she told him as she drove him back to her house. "I leave for the economic summit in Brussels this evening. Shego's already left for Raleigh."<p>

"I didn't understand why you said she was going."

"CLE. Continuing Legal Education. Apparently lawyers need a certain amount each year. Anyway, this one is supposed to be really important. How did you get off work so quickly?"

"I never get sick, so I've got a lot of sick days accumulated. I called in to corporate and told them I had a family emergency."

"Shego is really happy you could come," Kim told him. She didn't consider it a lie, at least not technically. Shego was happy someone could babysit, and Kim felt certain that Hego would do so well that Shego would forgive him for the wedding.


	2. A Little Child Shall Lead Him

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The characters from the Kim Possible series are owned by Disney. All registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

OCD thanks to Mr. Wizard, Grey Mage, Invader Johnny, LJ58, Mystra32, only-looking, BlueLion, nslc, Thomas Linquist, and noncynic for reviews.

**A Little Child Shall Lead Him**

"Keys are here," Kim told Hego when she hung them on a hook as they went in the kitchen door. "You can figure out which key goes to what?"

He nodded.

"The girls still need car seats. They swear they don't, but they do."

"Car seats, check."

"Uh..." Kim hesitated a second, took a deep breath, and pointed to a tall stack of paper on the counter. "Shego's directions."

Hego stared at the pile of paper. "Can I wait for the movie to come out?"

"I've got a shorter list," Kim apologized and handed him two sheets of paper. "A lot of this is phone numbers for people you might need to call. You and the girls are invited to Shabbot dinner with Shego's rabbi tomorrow night. My dad's out of town, but mom will have you over for dinner Saturday night. She can give you a break if you need one this weekend."

"I can handle a couple six-year olds," Henry boasted with confidence.

"I've got the addresses here for the rabbi and my mom, but the girls can probably guide you."

"Where should I put my suitcase?"

"Upstairs. I'll show you the guest room. Oh, first, basement door. Be careful with it."

"Careful?"

"Well, sometimes when you open it, it doesn't go to the basement."

"Huh?"

"Not all the time. Just be careful. If there're Napoleonic soldiers or a pack of hyenas when you open the door, don't go down."

Hego raised a skeptical eyebrow. "That happen often?"

"Way too often, maybe once or twice a month."

"Why don't you–"

"You know anyone who can fix something like that?"

"No," he admitted.

"So, be careful," Kim warned. "Let me show you the guest room."

As they walked through the entryway Kim noticed a reptilian creature sprawled on the living room couch in a spot where sunlight streamed through a window. "Oh, that's Smaug. S-m-a-u-g."

"What is it."

"Kasy and Sheki's pet."

"I mean, really... What is it?"

The noise disturbed the creature which raised its head, yawned, stretched and flapped bat-like wings.

"We're really not sure," Kim admitted.

"It looks like a–"

"Yes he does. He's also poisonous. The girls will show you where we keep the antidote. He's pretty peaceful, but he doesn't like strangers tickling him under the chin."

Smaug laid his head back down and closed his eyes as Kim led Hego up the stairs.

"Mom said something about a lady in white," He told her as they climbed to the second floor.

"That's right, she saw Helen."

"Helen?"

"She came with the house."

"Came with the house?"

"A ghost. I've never seen her. Shego sees her sometimes. The twins see her all the time. Sheki and a friend named Hana can talk with her."

"Helen?" he repeated.

"Yes. I think nineteen-twenty-two was the year she died, just a teenager."

"Uh, Kim?"

"Yes?"

"Do you have an axe murderer in a closet or anything?"

"Excuse me?"

"You've got a dragon sleeping on your couch, a time machine in your basement, a ghost, and you and my sister have two daughters – even though you're both women... I mean, uh, what else is, uh, crazy around here?"

"It's really a very normal family."

"But–"

"Think about your family. Would you call that normal?"

"Yes, but... Okay, point taken."

"No axe murderer in any closet. At least not that we know of. If you find one, have him arrested."

From the corner of his eye Hego thought he saw something white in the hall. He glanced over, and saw nothing. _"Just my imagination from talking about a ghost,"_ he told himself. He felt fairly confident ghosts did not exist. Kim admitted she had never seen it. Children had vivid imaginations. It was probably the power of suggestion which made his mother think she had seen a ghost. On the other hand, the small colorful creature on the couch downstairs looked like a small dragon – and dragons didn't exist either.

Twice as he unpacked his suitcase in the bedroom, Hego thought he saw a white shape and/or movement from the corner of his eye, but when he looked there was nothing there. _"Imagination,"_ he told himself.

"Come down to the kitchen and I'll get you something to drink and explain food."

"I was reading on the internet about kosher rules... Do you really have four sets of plates?"

"No, we don't. We have one set during the year, but we use paper plates during Passover. Shego's still trying to figure out what level of observance is meaningful for her. Let's go down to the kitchen."

In the kitchen Kim poured a couple glasses of iced tea and sat down to explain 'house rules'. "Middleton doesn't have a kosher butcher. Shego says someday she might decide its worth the trip to find one and bring back a freezer full of stuff. Anyway, no pig products in the house – or ostrich, and–"

"Ostrich?"

"It's on some list of stuff Jews aren't supposed to eat. They have it in the supermarket we go too... Oh, no lama either."

"Lama is in the Bible?"

"No, but it doesn't meet the requirements. Rabbit either... I think that's all the meat our market carries that doesn't fit."

"Okay."

"And seafood. It's supposed to have fins and scales. So no shellfish or catfish."

"And I think I read no dairy and meat together at a meal?"

"Right."

"Isn't Ron Jewish?"

"Yes."

"He liked Bueno Nacho a lot."

"Still does. His family isn't very observant. As I understand it some branches of Judaism say you're supposed to follow all the rules, and other branches of Judaism say you should know the rules and follow the ones that are meaningful to you. Shego's still trying to sort out which ones are important to her. I heard Ron's grandmother was so strict that Ron's dad really rebelled from all the kosher stuff when he left home."

Hego sighed, "Rebellion..."

Kim suspected he was thinking about his sister.

"Any other food rules?" he asked.

Kim thought for a second. "I can't think of any."

"Okay, going back to what I read on-line... No turning lights on during Saturday?"

"We turn lights on. You were reading a really strict web-page. Some of them can make work out of not working. Try not to buy things and no television from sunset to sunset–"

"That I didn't get. Sunset to sunset?"

She shrugged, "That's how they did it. Rather than starting a day at sunrise, or putting it in the middle of the night like we do, a day starts at sundown. So Friday evening begins the Sabbath, and it's over at sundown on Saturday. And Shego doesn't think it's wrong to turn on the television, she just doesn't want it to be a day of staring at the tube. We spend time together as family and do things with each other."

"That sounds nice."

"Yeah, it really is. The hard part for me is the no buying part of it."

Kim asked about Hego's brothers and parents and they talked until Kim heard the familiar sound of school bus stopping. "Girls are home." The two adults stood to meet the twins.

A minute later they heard the front door open and Kasy called, "Eemah? Mommy?"

"Eemah left for her conference," Kim answered. "I'm in the kitchen with uncle Henry."

Before Hego and Kim could walk to the front of the house the door to the kitchen burst open and Kasy threw herself at her uncle and held on tight. "Uncle Hego! We're going to have fun!"

"Did I mention she's a big fan of the Team Go cartoon?" Kim asked.

"No, you didn't."

Sheki had entered the kitchen slightly behind her sister, "And you shouldn't call him Uncle Hego. People aren't supposed to know who he is."

"But everyone knows who he is," Kasy argued, "and that he works for a TV station."

"That's just on the cartoon show," Hego explained. "The cartoon me. I'm a manager of a Bueno Nacho."

Kasy looked disappointed. "Oh... That doesn't sound very fun."

"Well, some days it's not," he admitted.

Kim glanced at the clock. "You two introduce your uncle to Smaug, and do you have any homework?"

Kasy shook her head 'no'. Sheki shook her head 'yes'.

"Well do your homework," their mother warned, "both of you. I'm going over my packing checklist one more time. The shuttle is taking me to the airport in a half hour."

Kim felt very pleased. She'd call Shego on the way to the airport and leave a message that her brother was being very respectful of her Judaism.

Kasy took Hego's hand and pulled him toward the living room, "This way! Smaug's in the sun."

As they went through the front entryway a young woman dressed in white glided up to the trio. Her lips moved, but Hego heard nothing.

"He's our uncle Henry," Sheki said. The young woman's lips moved again. "Eemah's brother. I think he's going to be here five days." She turned and look at Hego, "You're babysitting us for five days?"

Hego nodded.

"Five days," Sheki said. The young woman appeared to be saying something, but Hego still heard nothing. Sheki giggled and nudged her sister, "Helen thinks uncle Henry is very handsome."

"_This is just my imagination,"_ Hego told himself. _"I'm sure it's just my imagination."_


	3. Puff the Magic Dragon

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

I produced a cookie in the vein of this story months ago, which inspired a work by deviantartist nslc, art/Kasy-the-ice-con-artist-447469013. Which inspired me to continue it.

Thanks to Old Soldier, only-looking, LJ58, Invader Johnny, Twin-3, Mystra32, nslc, and noncynic for reviews.

**Puff the Magic Dragon**

The young woman in white left them as they entered the living room. "Smaug doesn't like Helen," Kasy explained as the three stood by the couch and looked at the sleeping creature.

"And he's poisonous?" Hego asked.

"He couldn't hurt you," Kasy assured her uncle. "You can stop bullets."

"He catches them," Sheki corrected her sister.

"That's only on the cartoon," he told them. "Bullets are really fast."

"But you could catch them, if you wanted to, couldn't you?" Kasy asked.

Nearly invulnerable is not nearly the same as invulnerable. "I don't want to find out," he told his niece.

Sheki poked Smaug with a finger, "Hey, sleepy-head, wake up and meet uncle Henry."

The little fellow didn't have a lot of facial expression, but it managed a reproachful gaze at the young girl for waking him from his nap.

"This is uncle Henry," Sheki told the dragon – who, of course, didn't understand a word she was saying. She looked at Hego, "Do you want to hold him?"

"Kim and Shego let you have a poisonous pet?"

"Oh, he can't hurt us, we're moons," Kasy assured him.

"Immune," Sheki corrected her.

"Er, how do I–" Hego started to ask, obviously hesitant to pick him up.

"Like this," Sheki said, scooping Smaug up and draping him across Hego's shoulders.

Neither Smaug nor Hego felt comfortable with the situation. It would be hard to decide who felt more uncomfortable as they stared at each other. Fortunately they decided not to blame each other for the twin's enthusiasm and Smaug tried to make himself comfortable by curling around Hego's neck. It was not a move which produced an equal sense of comfort for Hego.

"The park! Let's go to the park!" Kasy urged.

"But he's dangerous," Hego protested.

"I always bring the antidote," Sheki assured him.

"Your Mom leaves for the airport in a few minutes. You should say goodbye... Is it okay with her if you go to the park?"

"Sure," Kasy insisted.

"But we should say bye," Sheki agreed. "Stay with Smaug," she called over her shoulder as the girls ran from the living room to give Kim hugs and kisses before she left.

Kim carried her bag downstairs and found Hego in the living room. "I'm glad you and Smaug are making friends," Kim told him. (It was a sentiment Hego found overly optimistic and premature.) "You can take the girls to the park if you want. Do you have any ideas about supper?"

"I didn't have anything in particular in mind, I was going to look around the kitchen."

"MacDonalds!" Kasy suggested.

"Grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup is always popular," Kim told him. "The twins can show you where we keep the cast iron skillet." She looked at Kasy, "Listen to uncle Henry while mommy and Eemah are gone."

"How come you just said that to me?" the little redhead protested.

"I said it to both of you."

"You were looking at me."

Kim glanced at Sheki, "Promise?"

"I promise."

Kasy took hold of Hego's hand, "Park now? Can we?"

He let himself be pulled in the direction of the front door. "Thanks for babysitting," Kim called as Hego, his nieces, and Smaug exited the house.

Smaug climbed down off Hego to walk beside the trio on the sidewalk and occasionally stop and smell the messages left by other animals. Climbing down left several small holes in Hego's shirt, and reminded the large man how lucky he was to be almost invulnerable.

Half-way to the park a police car pulled to the curb beside the little group and a policeman got out.

"Can I ask who you are and what you're doing with these girls?" officer Hobble asked.

"These are my nieces," Hego began to explain.

Sheki took the big man's hand, "He's uncle Henry," she said.

Officer Hobble frowned slightly. "Exactly how are you related to these girls? I know their mother, but I don't recognize you."

"Well, Sharon O'Ceallaigh, is my sister. Sis and Kim are out of town and–"

"Oh, God," Hobble groaned sympathetically, "she's your sister?"

"Yes, and they asked–"

"Wait a minute, you're Hego?"

"No, I–"

"Can I have your autograph? For my nephew? He loves your cartoons."

"I'm not–" Hego tried to say, but Hobble had gone back to the squad car for paper and a pen.

"Could you write, 'Go, Zeke, Go'?" Hobble suggested when he dashed back. "Sign it Hego."

"I'm not Hego," Hego protested. "I'm Henry O'Ceallaigh, and–"

Hobble winked, "The old secret identity thing. Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. I'm surprised your television station gave you time off."

"I don't work for a television station. That's just on the cartoon."

"Hey, your private life is your own," Hobble assured him, thrusting the pen and paper at him. "Zeke, Z-e-k-e."

Hego sighed and took the pen and paper and signed as directed.

"Thanks," the patrolman said. Before he returned to the squad car he asked, "How long you in town?"

"Five days."

"Well, good luck. Enjoy Middleton."

The park had a number of children, from toddlers to almost tweens playing, and three women sitting on a park bench chatting.

"Two swings together," Sheki pointed out. "Let's get them!" She quickly took off her small backpack and left it on another park bench.

Kasy patted the bench, by the backpack, and ordered Smaug, "Up here." From experience rather than any comprehension of human speech he clambered up and stretched out in the sun. "Push us, uncle Henry," she called over her shoulder as she and Sheki raced to get the open swings before anyone else took them.

Hego had seven minutes to enjoy normalcy. Seven minutes of standing in the sun, pushing his nieces as they encouraged him with: "Higher! Push harder!"

Kasy asked, "Can you push us so hard we swing in a big circle?"

"If you do that you turn inside out," Sheki warned, having gained the knowledge from other children.

"I don't think you turn inside out," Hego told them. "But I'm afraid you might fall and get hurt."

Hego paid more attention to the twins than to other things happening in the park, until he heard Sheki go, "Oh-oh." He looked over and saw a small child, probably not even three, toddling in the direction of Smaug. Leaving his post as pusher Hego sprinted for the small boy, hoping he could reach him before the child reached the dragon.

The small boy was almost at Smaug, and the dragon had noticed the approaching child.

Hego leapt, grabbing the boy before he could reach the pet. The big man twisted in mid-air, taking the impact of hitting the ground with his shoulder and tearing his shirt in the process. Henry lay on his back on the ground, with the toddler safe on his chest.

The small boy, startled by being grabbed and the landing, even if Hego had absorbed most of it, started to cry. Loudly. His mother and the other two women were running towards the pair.

"Jason! Jason! Are you all right?" the mother called to the screaming child.

Smaug had jumped down from the park bench and came over, going for the child. Hego picked the boy up and held him in the air, away from the small beast as Smaug scrambled around trying to get at the boy (and frequently stepping on Hego's face with his clawed feet). While near-invulnerability is nice, there are times when actual invulnerability would be appreciated.

To add to the chaos Kasy and Sheki came running over from the swing set.

"Uncle Henry," Sheki called, "What are you doing?"

"What are you doing?" the mother screamed at Hego.

"This child was heading for this lizard," Henry explained, as a clawed foot scraped across his nose. He didn't want to say dragon, since dragons don't exist, and in the stories are always bigger than the thing standing on his face.

"Why did you attack my child?" the woman demanded.

"I was saving him! This thing is poisonous!"

"Smaug knows Jason," Kasy told her uncle.

"But... But I heard Sheki say something like, 'oh-oh' when she saw–"

"Jason had a sandwich in his hand and–"

"Jason!" the mother asked sharply, "did you take a sandwich after I told you no?"

"Smaug like it!" the child bawled.

Sheki picked the peanut butter and jelly sandwich off the ground, and Smaug realized he'd taken his eyes off the prize and ran over. Sheki held the offensive article in the air, away from Smaug. "The peanut butter gets stuck to his teeth," Sheki explained as Henry put the child down and stood and dusted himself off.

"I've told Jason that," Mrs. Swenson confirmed. "But the little fellow likes it so much." She looked at Henry. "You had no business grabbing my boy!"

"I was trying to save him!"

"You still had no business touching him! I should call the police."

"Mrs. Swenson," Kasy said in a soothing voice. "Uncle Henry wanted to help Jason. He wanted to do good. You call the police for bad people."

The mother was silent as she checked her crying son for damages. She was still angry, but realized showing her anger when the big stranger was trying to help her boy would make her look petty.

The problem was that Jason kept crying, "I wan san'wish! I wan san'wish!"

Sheki sighed, "Okay. You can feed Smaug. But sit up on the bench."

The tears stopped immediately and Jason climbed on the bench, followed by Smaug – who sensed imminent victory. Sheki handed the boy the small sandwich.

"You're cleaning his teeth," Kasy warned her sister.

Hego and his nieces were at the park for another half hour. He pushed them on the swings a little longer, then watched as they played with other children and equipment.

While Mrs. Swenson wouldn't speak to Henry one of the other mothers examined his shoulder and pronounced the torn shirt beyond repair. "You must be very strong," she commented after seeing his muscles. "And that's an unusual undershirt. What is the material?"

"I, ah, work out a lot," Hego told her. Maybe he shouldn't have worn his uniform under his normal identity clothing – but you never know when a hero has to spring into action. "That's, ah, my workout shirt, really great wicking... I–" He glanced over and noticed that the woman had gone back to talk with her friends and watch the children. He breathed a sigh of relief for the preservation of his secret identity.

And, on a bench to the side, a happy Smaug stretched out with his head on Jason's lap. A happy Jason chattered away as he patted the little dragon on the head. If the truth were known Smaug found Jason annoying, but accepted the boy as the price for the peanut butter sandwich in his stomach. In the little fellow's reptilian mouth a forked tongue worked in vain to dislodge the peanut butter caught between his fangs.

When it was time to return home Kasy headed in the opposite direction. "Wait," Hego told her, and pointed in the proper direction "isn't your house that way?"

"Dairy Delight is this way," she answered.

"Dairy Delight? But–"

"You need a reward for saving Jason."

"But I didn't save Jason, he wasn't in trouble."

"But you tried to save Jason." She came back and took her uncle by the hand, looking up at him with her green eyes. "Please, uncle Henry? I think you're a hero."

Hego wasn't entirely sure what making a fool of yourself and ripping your shirt had to do with being a hero. But it was nice to get a reward... Even if he had to pay for it himself. "Okay," he agreed.

Back at the house Hego received high marks for his grilled cheese sandwiches, but at bedtime he received low marks for his reading as he didn't realize he was expected to provide different voices for the characters in the story.

He watched the evening news in the living room before turning in himself. As he undressed in the guest room he thought he saw a figure in white out of the corner of his eye a couple times._ "Only my imagination,"_ he told himself, _"only my imagination."_


	4. Everything Old Is New Again

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. All registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Thanks to Mr. Wizard, Invader Johnny, nslc, LJ58, Old Soldier, Thomas Linquist, only-looking, and non-cynic for reviews.

**Everything Old Is New Again**

Hego let out a very unheroic scream when the alarm clock went off and he opened his eyes to find Helen in the room. She disappeared immediately, but Kasy and Sheki appeared less mysteriously – running into the room to see what was the matter.

"What's wrong?" Sheki asked.

"The ghost... She was in here... Looking at me."

"Well," Sheki told him, "it's her room."

"Her room?"

"It was her room when she was alive."

Hego decided to take his clothes to the bathroom to change. He wasn't certain if a locked door could stop a ghost, but he locked it anyway.

If he had lost any points for his shortcomings in story reading the night before he earned them back, with a bonus, for his breakfast burrito. He had not prepared lunches for the girls, page 17 of Shego's instructions, but the twins seemed happy to make their own – especially Kasy (who assured him that Shego always packed two chocolate covered chewy granola bars for each girl).

"I noticed you're low on milk," he told the twins as they waited on the front porch for the bus. "Anything else we need at the grocery?"

"Ice cream," Kasy told him. "You can't buy it tomorrow. Chocolate caramel swirl."

"Mint chocolate chip," Sheki said firmly. "Eemah always gets mint chocolate chip."

"Eemah's not here," her sister pointed out. "I'll bet Uncle Henry likes chocolate caramel swirl. Do you, Uncle Henry, do you like it?"

"I like..." Hego started, and stopped himself. It might look bad to admit he preferred vanilla. "I like all kinds of ice cream."

Kasy looked down the street, "School bus is coming!" She turned to her uncle as the bus braked at the house. "Chocolate caramel swirl."

"Mint chocolate chip," Sheki told him as she went down the steps.

"Get them both," Kasy called over her shoulder as they ran for the bus.

Hego cleaned the kitchen and opened the basement door twice to stare down before heading for the grocery store. Being unfamiliar with the layout of the grocery he required longer than usual, but didn't have anything important to accomplish so didn't mind a leisurely shopping trip.

He forgot he and the girls were invited to the Rabbi's home for dinner that evening until he put groceries in the car. He shrugged, they'd eat the food he had planned for tonight's dinner at another meal.

On his return he opened the basement door two more times to look down into the basement and felt vaguely foolish. He wondered if Kim was playing some odd practical joke on him with the story about the basement. (Pages 26 to 29 of Shego's directions contained similar warnings.)

As he put away groceries Smaug entered the kitchen and almost tripped him by staying underfoot. Hego decided the little fellow probably wanted to be fed. He wasn't certain what to feed the creature, or how much, but remembered he liked peanut butter and made him a sandwich. (Page 11 of Shego's directions warned, "Do not give Smaug peanut butter. It gets stuck between his fangs," and listed approved foods.)

Smaug repaid Hego's kindness by leaving a mess in the entryway. (Page 12, "Put Smaug out into the yard for a half hour after feeding him." It also contained the helpful suggestion, "Don't overfeed the damn lizard.")

Hego managed to lose some of his own appetite while cleaning up after Smaug and went into the living room and turned on his laptop to check email. He wondered if he should alert the Middleton police to the fact he was in town and available for heroic deeds, but the policeman he saw yesterday would remember seeing him.

After answering emails he went to Google images in a fit of curiosity and typed in "1920s womens hair" trying to find the name of Helen's hairstyle. It was a bob. Apparently there were a number of variations on the bob.

His memory of Helen was refreshed when the former young woman herself entered the room and sat beside him on the couch. She stared at the screen.

He pointed his finger at a picture. "Orchid bob?"

She smiled and nodded.

"That was... Were... Are..." Hego hesitated. What verb tense does one use when asking a dead person about her life? And did flappers accept being called flappers, or was that an insult that others applied to them? He needed to find some way to engage her in polite conversation, or some sort of monologue, but didn't know quite how to bring up on the subject on his mind – an assurance from her that she wasn't spying on him while he undressed. He needed to be casual, ask her about herself... Except that she couldn't answer him.

Hego was not used to this much thinking.

Maybe he could get some help on YouTube. He was pretty sure flappers danced the Charleston. He found a lot of hits on "Dance Charleston" and then clicked on one. The women in the videos were dressed similar to the dress Helen wore. "Did you do the Charleston?" he asked.

Helen looked puzzled and shook her head no. He noticed the record was from 1925 – after Helen had died. _"When was Charleston invented?"_ he wondered. And five minutes of research led to 1923, and peaking in popularity in 1925. _"Oh bother."_

As he searched for a list of dances from the Roaring Twenties he wondered briefly why Helen didn't seem in awe of the computer, then realized that Kim and her friends had used computers while attending college. "Do any of these look familiar?"

She leaned over to peer at the screen, then seemed to grow excited. She leaned over further and put a hand down on his arm as if to steady herself. Hego wasn't certain, but thought he felt her hand on her arm. He was more focused on her gestures. She pointed to two dances, the breakaway and the foxtrot.

Hego felt fairly certain the foxtrot was a ballroom dance. Maybe the breakaway was something flappers did. He'd just find some nice video, ask her a few questions, and then ask her not to spy on him.

Apparently the breakaway could be danced to many early jazz tunes. As he looked for a video with flappers Helen grew even more excited by a 1921 song, "Everything Is Hotsy-Totsy Now," by the Coon-Sanders Nighthawks.

Helen assumed he was looking for some dance music because he wanted to dance. At least this was her hope for the tall, handsome man. As the music came out of the speakers she moved to the middle of the living room floor and gestured with one hand for him to join her.

Hego hesitated, he just wanted to make a little casual conversation before asking her to leave him alone. Simply telling her to go away would be rude. Heroes are never rude. Even to dead people. And he was staying in her room, or at least what had been her room when she was alive.

Helen used both hands to gesture, "Let's dance!"

Hego sighed. As least he wouldn't hear her if she laughed at his dancing. He stood up and joined her in the middle of the living room.

Half an hour, and several songs by the Nighthawks, later Hego remembered he was just looking for a polite way to ask to be left alone. "That's enough. I was going to ask you about something else."

She put her hands together, as if in prayer and looked at him with pleading eyes. Then she held up her right hand, the thumb and forefinger held two inches apart, as if holding a small bottle. The gesture was obvious, "A little more? Please?"

"Okay," he agreed.

"Really, enough dancing," he told her after another half hour.

She went to the television stand and pointed at a chess set on a shelf under the screen. She raised her eyebrows quizzically, clearly asking if he wanted to play.

"I don't play very well."

She shrugged.

He really didn't have anything else to do. Turning her down and watching television would simply be rude. Heroes are not rude. Even to dead people.

He set up the board and men on the coffee table and she gestured for him to move a chair to the other side of the table for her. He sat on the couch. On her turn she would point to the piece she wanted him to move for her.

He wondered how she could sit on a chair if she could walk through walls. If he had been a good chess player the distraction might have bothered him, but Hego was not a good chess player.

Hego did not play well, but neither did Helen. The first game dragged on, and would have made a chess grandmaster tear his hair out in frustration if he were forced to watch. He finally won. Her hands moved through the pieces as she made the movements of setting them up for another game.

"Well, okay. One more."

The second game went more quickly. Hego threatened a rook with a knight and Helen looked for a spot of safety for her rook, and discovered that moving the rook opened a diagonal and put his king in check – while threatening his queen with the rook! She moved the rook down the board. Hego didn't even notice the threat on his king. He attempted to save his queen, but she shook her head and pointed at the bishop.

She did not move another piece, but after the loss of his queen she directed an assault on his king with her rook and queen and ended the game.

Once again she gestured for another game, but he pointed to a clock, "The twins will be home soon."

She quietly faded from sight.

"Do you have homework to do?" Hego asked when his nieces arrived home.

"No," Kasy told him.

"A little," Sheki admitted.

"But it's Friday!" Kasy protested. "We don't have to do it now. Let's go to the park."

"I might forget to ask you later. You should do it now, and then you don't have to worry about it later."

"Did you buy ice cream?" the little redhead asked. "We'll do homework if we can have ice cream first."

"Homework first, then ice cream," he countered.

While watching the twins work on math (he couldn't help them because he had no clue how Common Core math worked) he mentioned, "Helen moved a chess piece."

"She must of have been motional," Kasy commented.

"Motional?"

"Emotional," Sheki corrected her sister. "Sometimes when she gets excited she touches things for real."

"Eemah says she saved us when we were babies and someone was in the room," Kasy added.

* * *

><p>Homework done. Ice cream eaten. "What should I wear to the Rabbi's house?" he asked his nieces.<p>

"You're okay," Sheki told him.

"Do I need one of those things on my head?"

"Do you want one?" Kasy asked. "We've got some in a drawer."

"Yarmulkes," Sheki told him. "You don't have to wear one."

"But should I?"

"I think you'd look good in a blue one," Kasy told him.

"You don't have to," Sheki repeated.

"Let me get it," Kasy offered.

Despite Sheki's assurance that he didn't need to change he put on a fresh shirt. He wasn't certain if the sense of being watched was paranoia or if the white movement he glimpsed from the corner of his eye was Helen.

Shego had devoted a good ten pages of the manuscript he hadn't read to, "Stupid things you aren't supposed to say to Jews."

"I can tell you're not Jewish," Ruth said as she opened her door to the trio.

Hego looked puzzled.

"You're on time," she explained. She glanced at her watch, "Or I'm running late. Girls, would you help set the table? Fourteen places."

"Should I help the twins? Can I help in the kitchen."

"You any good in the kitchen?"

"Yes he is," Sheki told the rabbi.

As he helped in the kitchen he asked for some clarification, "I still don't understand Sis becoming Jewish."

"What part? I can't explain a choice she made for herself, except that it made sense to her."

"The way she explained it to mom was the fact grandma was born Jewish, even if she was raised Catholic."

"It's the way Jewish Law works. Identity is passed down through the mothers."

"So would people consider me Jewish?"

"Well, whenever you have two Jews you have three opinions. I'd say no… Unless you wanted to be Jewish. Is that your question?"

"No, I'm just trying to figure it out."

"Some Jews and Nazis would consider you Jewish because of your grandmother. Others take a 'use it or lose it' approach and say you weren't. Even the ones who would accept you as Jewish would want you circumcised."

"Again, I'm staying Christian, but that was taken care of when I was a baby."

"Well, many Jews would still insist on a drop of blood."

"Drop of blood?"

She pointed at his crotch.

"Oh…"

"That answer your question?"

"I think the expression is TMI."

Hego did not embarrass himself during dinner. He managed the feat by saying little. He was asked a number of questions, but those asking the questions never paused long enough for him to give an answer. He heard often those at the table say how much Shego meant to the congregation.

Grace after the meal took longer that Hego would have imagined possible, and he felt lost during it. At the end of benching Ruth explained, "There's a short form and a long form of grace after meals."

"How long does the short version take?"

"That was the short version."

"And you say that after every meal?"

Ruth shrugged and addressed the other guests, "Anyone here bench after every meal?" No one raised a hand. She turned back to Hego, "And you'll notice I didn't raise my hand either."

Since Hego and the twins arrived first they had to wait for others to leave before they could get their car out.

"Could you stay just a second? I have a favor to ask," the rabbi asked as the other remaining guests left.

As soon as the others were out the door she produced three DVDs of Go Team Go cartoons. Shego had already signed the cases. "Chanukah gifts, could you autograph them, please? Any chance your brothers will be in town soon?"

"Not that I know of, but I hadn't planned on being here myself."

"I'm sure Sharon appreciates your dropping everything and coming to help this way. She sometimes expresses some frustration toward you, but I sense that beneath it she loves her big brother very much."

"Thanks, I… Rabbi, you're a man of God… Er, person of God, and—"

"And you're not?"

"You're a professional. God listens to you. Anyway, I just… I was raised that two women, or two men… They just… Anyway, that doesn't bother you? You think God accepts that?"

"I avoid speaking for God, except in one area. I don't trust most of the people saying they have the inside track with God. Most of them end up telling you that God wants you to give them all your money."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"No, it doesn't. I told you, I try not to speak for God. If God made some men love other men, and some women love other women, then in my opinion he accepts it. And I've known too many decent, honest, loving homosexuals to believe it is evil. Not that gays are any better than the rest of the population. I've known some S.O.B.'s too."

"Rabbi!"

"Well, it's the truth. Or at least it looks that way to me."

"Did you say there was one area where you would try speaking for God?"

"Yes I did. I believe God desires justice for all – and in my mind justice means being treated with equality. Your father would be an age that when he grew up African-Americans were excluded from many schools. They couldn't be served in many restaurants, stay at some hotels, and weren't allowed in public pools. Now—"

"My dad never believed in that kind of discrimination."

"That's fine. But many people did. And many people felt that was the way God wanted it. Black people were under the curse of Ham. Did that make discrimination right?"

"No. Curse of Ham?"

"Book of Genesis. Nothing to do with pigs. Jews, the Irish, Italians, Mexicans… Just about every group has suffered discrimination at different times. The stories I could tell of being a woman studying for the rabbinate... And there was always someone claiming the discrimination was God's will. You're a hero… Do you pick and choose who you'll help and who you won't?"

"I try not to, but I feel like this is asking me to accept something I don't believe in."

"Do you believe in equal justice for all?"

"Absolutely."

"Remember that. You're suffering from cognitive dissonance."

"What?"

"You're trying to hold two different ideas which don't fit with each other, and it's creating inner conflict."

"I guess that describes it pretty well. What can I do?"

"Some people continue to hold both ideas – and try to ignore the moral contradiction. Some people go crazy. Some modify one or both internal views, or give one up entirely. You have to find your own answer."

"It sounds hard."

"A wise man once said, 'He who conquers others is strong. He who conquers himself is mighty'."

"Jewish proverb?"

"Actually a quote from Lao Tzu, a Taoist sage. Oh, my personal opinion is don't go for the crazy option."

Helen was waiting when they got home. "She wants to know if you had fun today," Sheki told her uncle. "She says she liked dancing with you."

"Uncle Hego danced with Helen?" Kasy giggled.

"I… Ah… Isn't it past your bedtime?"

"But Uncle Henry—"

"Who wants ice cream?"

His efforts to change the subject were largely successful, although it did strike the twins as slightly curious that Helen listened to the bedtime story that evening. She spent much of her time looking at Hego.

Hego didn't even attempt to convince himself he was imagining things that evening.


	5. A Cup of Coffee, a Sandwich, and You

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Chapter title is a 1925 song by Joseph Meyer, with lyrics by Al Dubin and Billy Rose.

The Clicquot Club Eskimos, a real dance band, wore parkas. Truth... Stranger than fiction.

Thanks to Thomas Linquist, Invader Johnny, nslc, LJ58, acosta perez jose ramiro, A Markov (finally) , only-looking, and non-cynic for reviews.

**A Cup of Coffee, a Sandwich, and You**

The flash of lightning and nearly instantaneous crash of thunder awakened the twins and Smaug. Hego slept through it. If their mothers were home the twins would have crawled into bed with them, but they decided to leave Uncle Henry in peace. Smaug held much the same opinion of the stranger in the house and clawed his way onto Sheki's bed and fell asleep beside her.

The rain continued falling through the night and into the morning. Hego cautiously opened one eye. Helen was sitting in the chair, looking at him. Do ghosts sleep? He made a show of yawning and stretching. When he opened his eyes she was gone… Or at least he didn't see her. He wasn't certain how that worked either, but he dressed in the bathroom with the door closed and locked. It made him feel better.

"Your pancakes are almost as good as Daddy's," Kasy told Hego at breakfast.

"Daddy?"

"She adopted Uncle Ron," Sheki explained.

"I was hoping we could spend the day at the park or something," Hego told them, "but doesn't look like the weather is cooperating." He wanted to avoid the ghost, but wouldn't admit it to anyone.

"Mrs Swartz said she'd take us to the children's service," Kasy mentioned.

"What?"

"Last night. She asked if we wanted to go and I said yes."

"You could have said it before now," Sheki objected.

The little redhead looked at her uncle, "You can go to services if you want."

"It's long, really long," Sheki warned.

"How long is it?"

"We're never home before noon," Kasy told him.

"I, uh, think I'll just stay here. I'm not Jewish," he told his nieces. An hour in a church pew was bad enough.

Being even more impervious to rain than bullets Hego went for a walk around the neighborhood after the twins left. He remembered seeing some businesses near Casa Possible on the ride in from the airport and was able to locate them. Apparently the university was only a block or two further away, but he felt no need to visit the campus. A coffee shop caught his eye, Columbia to Kenya. He hesitated briefly wondering if the ban on purchases on the Sabbath extended to him or not and decided it didn't count if he wasn't with his nieces.

"Sixteen ounce Sumatra," Hego ordered.

The man with the piercings filled the cup. "New here?"

"Just visiting, babysitting for family."

"Makes you a hero in my book. That'll be four twelve with tax."

The big man handed a credit card to the barista who glanced at the name before swiping it. "Henry O'Ceallaigh?"

"Yes?"

"Sheila is your sister?"

"Sheila?"

"Sorry, I mean Sharon. She called herself Sheila when she first started coming here." Tony handed the credit card back, unswiped. "No charge for you. There are some of her friends in the back, you need to meet them."

"No, I–"

Tony came out from behind the counter and led Henry to the back. Seven women and a two men were sitting around four tables shoved together. Thick books were out in front of a couple of them and a lively debate seemed to be going on. "Xenia, Bob!" Several of those in the study group looked up. "Sharon's brother! Hego!"

"Henry, my name is Henry," Hego objected.

A couple members of the group pointed to an empty chair, an invitation to join them.

"He's babysitting Kasy and Sheki," Tony explained. He looked at Henry, "Or you got other family in town?"

"No, just the twins."

"So where are they now, with you here?" a woman asked

Tony left as Henry sat down. "Kasy and Sheki are at synagogue this morning."

"And the television station gave you time off to babysit?" another woman asked.

"No... I don't work at a television station. I manage a Bueno Nacho."

"But on your show–"

"It's not my show."

"Ohhhh... Secret identity thing, right?"

"Look, I... I just realized. I have no idea who any of you are."

"Tony didn't say?"

"Tony?"

"The barista."

"No, he didn't."

"We're the Legal Lesbians," one of the men said, and stuck out his hand to shake, "I'm Bob."

"Legal Lesbians?" Henry repeated. He hesitated a second and shook hands. "But you're a man."

"At least I sleep with a woman. I think that makes me a better lesbian than Amy over there who sleeps with guys."

"Guy," she corrected him. "Just my husband."

"But... But..." Hego sputtered.

"Apparently Sharon never mentioned the Legal Lesbians?" a woman asked.

Another woman narrowed her eyes, "I think I remember Sharon talking about a brother who was a jerk and a 'phobe. Is that you?"

"Hey," another woman objected, "he's here to babysit. That means he still treats her like family. Want to know the last time anyone in my family talked to me?"

"Ah, Sharon and I kind of... We were out of touch for awhile. Still... No, I don't remember hearing about Legal Lesbians. But there are men here, and she, " he pointed at Amy, "is straight. I don't understand."

"We're a study group," the woman Tony had called Xenia told him. "started out years ago with some of the first students out of the closet. We don't discriminate against anyone on the basis of race, creed, or sexual orientation."

"But we might against someone who treats his family like dirt," the woman with the memory suggested.

Another woman came to his defense, "Not when he babysits!"

The second man solemnly intoned, "As I see it, the case of Rosaline vs. Henry O'Ceallaigh must be adjudicated on the basis of–"

"Hey, you don't have to make a federal case out of it," Rosaline objected.

"Just a civil case," another woman said.

"Or an uncivil case," someone giggled.

"How about we get back to contract law?" Bob suggested.

"Seconded," Xenia agreed firmly. "The question on the table is establishing fraud."

Henry, of course, added nothing to the discussion. He finished his coffee and made a visible show of looking at his watch. "Better go. Need to be there when the girls get home." According to Sheki it would be well more than an hour before the twins returned, but at the moment a ghost seemed infinitely less frightening than lawyers and lesbians.

* * *

><p>Helen smiled broadly as he entered the house and waved for him to come into the living room then pointed at his computer and did a few dance steps. He wondered if Shego had written anything about Helen in the manual, and wished there was a full index. On the other hand the dead woman didn't ask him about his job at a fictional television station and seemed truly happy to see him. (Could ghosts actually be happy?)<p>

He gave in. "Let me find something," he told her and turned on the computer. "Sorry the speaker quality is so bad on the laptop," he apologized as it booted up.

She gestured in a manner which suggested, "No problem," and he reflected that speakers in 1922 probably weren't any better than the speakers on his small computer.

"Paul Whiteman Orchestra or the Clicquot Club Eskimos?" Hego asked, mentioning two of the orchestras they'd listened to the day before.

She held up two fingers to indicate the second choice and he hit the play button for 'You've Got That Thing'.

Later he ran a search for more of Coon-Sanders Nighthawks. She pointed at the selection 'Gotta Great Big Date with a Little Bitty Girl' and laughed. She pointed at herself and raised her hand to head height to indicate how tall she was, then pointed at Henry and raised her hand as high in the air as she could to indicate his height.

The sound of the front door opening stopped Hego's dancing, but the music brought the girls into the living room.

Helen said something to Sheki, who translated it for her uncle. "She says you're doing much better."

"Uh... Thanks."

The afternoon was spent with coloring books and board games – twice interrupted when Smaug walked over the game board scattering pieces. Helen watched but, although Sheki offered to throw the dice for her, declined to play. It cleared enough in the afternoon for a trip to the park. With the front door open Kasy called, "C'mon Smaug!" The beast looked at the puddles of water on the ground then retreated to the sun room.

* * *

><p>The sun started to set and Henry shepherded his little flock home.<p>

"This is the end of Sabbath, right?"

"Right," Kasy agreed. "And now we should have ice cream, for half dolla."

"Half dollar?" Hego asked.

"Havdalah," Sheki told him. "It's something you do at the end of Shabbot."

"And you do it with ice cream?"

"You don't have to do it with ice cream," Kasy said. "But you can."

"It's more with a special candle, and wine, and spices," Sheki explained.

"The spices are for sweetness," Kasy argued. "Ice cream is sweet."

"We're supposed to have dinner with your grandmother in forty-five minutes."

"We could stop at Dairy Delight on the way. A little cone wouldn't be bad."

"And this is a Jewish thing?"

"Half dolla is a Jewish thing," Kasy assured him solemnly. It wasn't a lie. Havdalah was a Jewish thing, it simply had nothing to do with ice cream.

Hego didn't want to disrespect his sister's Judaism.

* * *

><p>"Is there something wrong with the tuna noodle casserole?" Anne asked her granddaughters. "You usually eat more."<p>

During dinner Anne volunteered to swing by on Sunday morning and take the twins to Sunday School and children's church. Henry was free to join them or take a break from babysitting.

After dinner the twins went into the living room to watch a television program and Henry helped Anne clean in the kitchen.

"I think it's wonderful you were able to come and watch the girls on short notice," Anne told him.

"Thanks. I... Could ask a personal question?"

"You can ask. I'll chose if I want to answer."

"What do you think about your daughter and my sister, as a couple, I mean."

"They seem to be very happy together. And they're holding up remarkably well under the stress of Kasy and Sheki."

"I guess I mean what did you think when you first found out they were..."

"Seeing each other? Falling in love? Dating?"

"Any of that. Were you happy about it?"

"No... But I think it was more because of what your sister was doing with her life at that time than because of the fact she was a woman. I was afraid she was trying to trap Kim in some way."

"The fact they're both women..."

"James and I agreed years ago we would try to be supportive of whoever our children fell in love with."

"Avoid saying no."

"Excuse me?"

"Sorry. Musical family. Song from the Fantastiks, 'Never Say No'. The best way to get your child to do something is tell the child, 'No, don't do that'."

Anne laughed. "That wasn't what happened with Kim. James was always telling her, 'No boys'."

"Do you think that–"

"No, I don't," Anne said firmly. "I hold to the theory it is more from birth. We are raised to conform to society's expectations, which holds heterosexuality as the default setting. Some people realize they're different early, some late, and some never – and they live unhappy lives because they're trying to live according to other people's ideas rather than listening to their own hearts."

"So you think Kim was abnormal from–"

"I don't think Kim is abnormal or unnatural in any way. You need to give up those kinds of judgmental terms, and the baggage that comes with them. Accept your sister for who she is, a wonderful caring woman who happens to love another woman."

"I'm trying. I just don't understand."

"Don't worry too much about understanding. I suspect we're often better off not knowing exactly what's going on in another person's mind. Can I ask how your parent's took it?"

"Shock mostly... We hadn't heard from Sharon for years. Mom seemed to adjust faster than dad. I–"

"I think James accepted it sooner than I did. And your father?"

"I'm not sure. He seems to be taking it all right now, or at least he pretends to take it... Maybe he is... I feel like I'm the last person who... Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm standing up for what's right or a dinosaur."

Anne thought for a moment. "Standing up for what's right is very important to you. But when you're trying to prioritize what is best, I think love of family should come out on top."

* * *

><p>Helen was waiting for them when they arrived home.<p>

"She says you should read us some story called 'Snow White and Rose Red'," Sheki told Henry.

"Snow White _and_ Rose Red? Are those two different stories?"

"She says it's one story. They're sisters. She remembers if from when she was little and says to look it up on your computer."

_"Brothers Grimm,"_ Henry thought when he found it. _"Some of their stuff is not suitable for children."_

At the end of the tale Hego had to admit, "That was nice. You two would make a good Snow White and Rose Red."

Helen's lips moved.

Sheki giggled, "She says you make a good handsome prince."


	6. Near-fatal Attraction

Boilerplate Disclaimer: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

Thanks to Thomas Linquist, Twin-3, Mimico Florido (x4), LJ58, Mr. Wizard, Invader Johnny, only-looking, A Markov, Nslc, ajw1970, and noncynic for reviews. NoDrogs created the original twins.

**A Millstone Around His Neck and Thrown into the Ocean**

Despite Kasy's compelling argument that the fact the omelets were dairy, because they contained cheese, meant it would be permissible to have ice cream with breakfast, Hego held his ground.

They were not quite through with breakfast when the sound of a car pulling into the driveway could be heard in the house.

Hego glanced at the clock, "Your grandmother is early."

Sheki ran to a window and looked out, "It's a police car!"

Henry frowned slightly. He hadn't called the police, and he couldn't imagine any neighbor phoning in a complaint. His best guess was that the police were there to ask Hego's aid with some problem. He opened the door as Officer Hobble climbed the steps.

"I'm hoping you can help us," Hobble began.

"I'm always glad to lend a hand to officers of the law. What's the problem?"

"Charity softball game this afternoon. Police against firemen. It just hit me, if you throw out the first pitch... There's still time to call the local radio stations and get the news out. Boost attendance. Whatta ya say?"

"I don't usually–"

"Charity."

"I don't–"

"Worthy cause."

"What time?" Hego sighed. "Where's the field?"

Hobble gave the directions.

"Maybe I can ask their grandmother to watch these two while I'm at the game."

"That'd be great. We were going to have a guy from the DA's office throw–"

"You already had someone? I don't want to be rude."

"You're a name. People will come to see Hego. They won't come to see Steve Crandall."

"But it's wrong to–"

Kasy interrupted by pulling on Hobble's sleeve, "Mr. Crandall?"

"Yes, he was going–"

"Briana's daddy!" Sheki exclaimed.

"Briana?" Henry asked.

"She's our friend."

"I really don't want to take the honor from–" Hego tried to protest.

"I'm sure he'd be happy to–" Hobble argued.

"Can we call him and ask?" Sheki asked.

"I, ah, don't know his number," the policeman admitted.

"We do," Kasy assured them.

Steve Crandall was willing to pass the ceremonial pitch off to Hego, and Briana asked if Kasy and Sheki could sit with them to watch the game.

"Oh, if I get some cannon balls, or even some shot puts, can you juggle them for the crowd?" Hobble asked before he left.

"I don't juggle cannon balls."

"But on the show–"

"I can't juggle. That's just the cartoon."

"Oh... Could you throw a baseball through a brick wall?"

"Probably."

"Okay, we'll go for that."

"You aren't going to have a catcher behind it, are you? That would be dangerous."

"Maybe the catcher for the firemen... Nah, we'll have hay bales or something."

Hego gave a decent interview to the Middleton Examiner before the game, did an excellent job of throwing a pitch through a hasty constructed wall, and was then attacked by a horde of autograph seekers who had him signing programs, DVDs, and assorted body parts. He also suffered through soda, beer, mustard, and cotton candy stains as eager fans crowded around him.

Four spectators had brought crowbars for him to bend into his name. He explained that while the cartoon showed him doing that a crowbar wasn't long enough to bend into his name. Three of his fans settled for him tying their crowbars into knots, while the fourth took his back to Home Repo in disgust to get a refund.

The Crandalls managed to save an open seat near them on the bleachers and Hego 'just happened' to join them – introducing himself to Kasy, Sheki, and Briana with, "Hello small girls who I've never met before in my life."

Only after sitting down did Hego recognize Steve Crandall as the prosecutor who had tried to have Shego sentenced to prison. It made Hego feel distinctly uncomfortable, although Steve relieved much of the tension by quietly commenting, "Your sister is doing great. I hope your family is proud of how she's turned her life around."

Arriving home in the mid-afternoon Hego changed clothes and took his uniform to the washing machine in the basement. He found the twins in the living room when he came back upstairs, telling Helen about the softball game.

The ghost was sitting on the couch with the twins when Henry entered the room, but after Henry sat in the easy chair she went out and perched on the chair's arm and her lips moved.

"She says you were wonderful," Sheki told him.

"She didn't see me, so you two must be exaggerating a bit," Henry laughed.

"No we didn't," Sheki insisted.

"You were wonderful," Kasy seconded, plotting her next scheme for ice cream.

They talked for awhile until Henry thought the laundry might be clean. He went to the kitchen and opened the basement door to listen for whether the washer had finished the load or not. The basement was filled with water.

_"The washer broke! Got to turn off the hose to the washer!"_ he thought as he dashed down the stairs.

The water was unbelievably deep, so deep he was swimming as he tried to find the washing machine, and the sun shone brightly... The sun was bright in the basement? He looked around. There were no basement walls. The salt water stretched as far as he could see.

He turned around, but saw no steps. "Kasy! Sheki!" he yelled.

"Yes?" one answered.

"HELP!"

The girls ran to the basement door and peered down.

"Where are you?" Sheki called. "I don't see you."

"I'll get the rope," Kasy said.

"Keep talking," Hego shouted. "I can hear you."

"Kasy's getting a rope," Sheki called. "We'll throw it down."

Hego attempted to tread water as best he could as he looked around for the rope.

"Here's the rope!" Kasy called as she tossed one end down the steps.

"I don't see it."

"It's down there. I can see it."

Henry's struggles to orient himself and find the rope had him flailing the water like a drunken tuna with rheumatoid arthritis and attracted the attention of a local predator. It was not really a great white shark... Not even a good white shark... It was more of an average white shark. But at almost three meters long it could have consoled itself for Henry not being a tuna by snacking on an arm or leg.

"Darn..."

"What's wrong?" Sheki called.

"A little problem... Don't worry."

_"They say hit the nose,"_ Henry thought. He was not at all certain who they were, and what experience they had with hungry sharks, but at the moment it was the only advice he could remember for dealing with the muscular torpedo with teeth bearing down on him.

On land, with his feet planted, Hego could have delivered a blow that would have killed the shark. His punch was much less effective in the water, but drove off the shark, which would live to someday warn little grandsharks that prey may sometimes be tougher than it looks.

The splashing as Hego fought the shark was audible in the house. "Uncle Henry! Uncle Henry! are you all right?" Sheki called in a frightened voice.

"Just having a little trouble finding the rope. Keep talking so I'll know which way to swim." _"Don't want to worry her about the shark."_

A few minutes later, with Sheki's voice to guide him, Henry found the rope. He hesitated before pulling it. "Is the rope tied down?"

"Yes."

"I don't want to pull you in."

"It's tied to the hook."

He pulled cautiously. The line seemed secure. He pulled, hand over hand, and in seconds felt the stairs and basement floor beneath his feet. He gratefully scrambled out of the basement.

He stood dripping in the kitchen. "I'm glad you could find a rope so fast," he told Kasy.

"We keep it in the drawer here," Kasy said, pointing to its usual location. (Mentioned on page 28 of Shego's manual.)

"Eemah and mommy put it there after we got lost with Uncle Jim and Uncle Tim," Sheki explained.

Kasy hugged her uncle. "I was really scared... You should take us out for ice cream."

"You're scared, so I should take you for ice cream?"

"Ice cream is good when you're scared."

"I don't think ice cream is a cure for being scared," Hego told her. "How about I take you out for ice cream for rescuing me?"

Kasy nodded her head yes and Hego congratulated himself for not falling for her trick. If he had allowed ice cream as a cure for being scared she would have continually claimed she was frightened.

"But you need to change," Sheki reminded him. "You're all wet and smell funny."

"Ocean. Yeah, I need to shower and... You two stay out of the basement. How do you make it safe?

"Open and shut the door a few times and it usually changes," Kasy assured him.

Henry washed another load, then put the damp things in the dryer and headed for Dairy Delight with the twins.

* * *

><p>Following the softball game and basement mishap the rest of the day was wonderfully dull. Kasy showed Henry how to search movies on demand, and he put on a Shirley Temple movie while he worked on supper. They ate in front of Curly Top, with Kasy sitting on the floor (secretly passing her vegetables off to Smaug) and Helen on the couch with Hego and Sheki.<p>

"Helen wants to know when you're coming back," Sheki told Henry.

"I don't know."

The ghost said something, and Sheki conveyed the message, "She says she hopes it's soon."

After the girls were tucked into bed Helen mimed dancing and smiled an invitation.

"Don't want to disturb the twins. Chess or a movie on TV?"

Helen opted for chess. She managed to win another poorly played game. A second game dragged on until Henry suggested calling it a draw. "I need to get my sleep. I have to pack and clean in the morning."

On Monday morning Henry worked on breakfast and lunch in the kitchen.

Helen perched on the counter and watched as Henry packed sack lunches for the twins. She waved to get his attention when he began to pack two chocolate covered chewy granola bars in each of the twin's lunches. She held up one finger to indicate the appropriate number to give each girl.

He shrugged and only put one in each lunch.

Helen laughed, "I wish I could talk with you."

He, of course, had no idea what she said.

"Do you like me? Do you think I'm pretty?"

Hego, packing sandwiches, didn't even see her lips move.

Helen extended another invitation to dance after the school bus left, but Henry begged off. "My sister's coming back mid-afternoon and I leave this evening. I want the house clean when she gets here."

Disappointed with the answer Helen disappeared as Henry worked around the house and packed his suitcase. He congratulated himself on a job well done as he ate lunch. With no Helen to be seen he checked email in the early afternoon and called the Bueno Nacho to make sure everything was running smoothly and assure them he'd be back on the job the next day.

Around two Henry glanced at his watch. Middleton probably didn't have heavy traffic – certainly not compared with Chicago – but he decided to leave a little early to pick up Shego, just in case. He patted his various pockets to make sure he had everything and started down the stairs.

He'd just gone down a couple steps when he lost balance, as if he'd been pushed. He tumbled a couple steps, crashed through the bannister and fell to the marble floor of the entrance hall and lay still.

After a couple minutes he summoned up the strength to groan.

Calling someone for help might be a good idea. He managed to extract his cell phone from a pocket, but it obviously wouldn't be calling anyone again.

Passing out was an appealing option, so he did.

* * *

><p>Shego landed in Middleton tired and cranky from getting up early for her first flight. She was definitely of the opinion Middleton needed more direct flights. <em>"Wonder if Henry's in the cell phone waiting area or found a place to park and will meet me in the terminal."<em> She texted him, 'arrived where you?'.

Hego didn't meet her as she left the gate area, nor was he waiting in the baggage claim area. She texted again as she waited for her bag. _"Did the big idiot forget? Middleton doesn't have traffic jams."_

For all his faults Henry usually kept his appointments, and Shego began to worry that some sort of emergency had detained him. The worried feeling began to grow faster than the irritation as time passed and her brother neither appeared or responded to her texts or calls. _"He'd better not have stopped to be heroic,"_ she thought. _"Screw it, I'm getting a cab."_ She walked out of the terminal and hailed a taxi.

She stared at her watch during the ride. The girls were getting out of school now, the bus would have them home before she arrived... unless it was some emergency with them. Henry still didn't answer his phone. Anne Possible had not heard of any accidents when Shego called the hospital. Maybe it was time for a discussion with Kim on whether six-year olds could be given their own cell phones.

The house appeared intact as Shego paid the cabbie. The image was dispelled when she entered the house. A large chunk of the bannister was gone with fragments of the bannister and balusters scattered on the floor, with several of the marble tiles cracked. "Hello?" she called cautiously.

A frightened looking Sheki ran out of the living room and hugged her. "Eemah!"

"What happened? Where's Henry?"

Sheki said nothing, but took her mother's hand and pulled her into the living room. Hego was stretched out on the couch.

Shego went onto her knees beside her brother. "You okay?" she asked anxiously.

"Shaken, not stirred," he groaned.

"Please tell me you were drunk or clumsy," she demanded. "I don't want some old enemy attacking you in our house."

Before Hego could reply Sheki started to babble quickly, "Helen is really, really sorry and she won't do it again. She promised. She said she's really, really, really sorry. An' she didn't... An' she knows it's wrong. An' she's really, really, really, really sorry."

"Helen? What are you talking about?" Shego demanded.

"Helen wanted Uncle Henry to be a ghost too, so he could stay... And... And... And she's really, really, really, really sorry."

"Slow down, Squid. Helen pushed Henry down the stairs?"

"And she's really sorry."

"HELEN!" Shego bellowed, and Henry winced in pain to have her screaming so close to him. "HELEN! You get your sorry ass here, NOW!" No ghost appeared. "HELEN!" Shego remembered she didn't always see the ghostly teen and turned to Sheki, "Is she here?"

"No... Maybe she's hiding."

"She'd better be hiding," Shego muttered. "When I catch her I'm going to tan her butt." Shego raised her voice again, "HELEN! Nobody hurts my brother but me! You got that! And you're paying for the damage! You better get a job!"

Henry appeared in more pain than before, "If you could turn down the volume," he requested softly.

"Sorry."

Kasy entered with a bag of frozen corn and a dish towel.

"It took you a long time," Sheki complained to her twin as Hego took the frozen veggies, wrapped the bag in the dish towel and put it on his forehead.

"I couldn't find the ice bag. And then Eemah was yelling so I waited to make sure she wasn't gonna yell at me."

"Do you need to go to the hospital?" Shego asked Hego.

"I'll be fine... Although this feels worse than the time Serpent King had us in the hydraulic car crusher."

"At least we had some warning on that one," Shego agreed. "You were supposed to fly out tonight. Do you need to stay? Should I try and postpone your–"

"No! I need to go home. I really need to go home."

"Okay... If you're sure."

"I'm sure."

Shego hesitated, unsure how to ask the question, "So, uh, you better about me and Kim?"

"I'm still working on it," he admitted. "One thing I decided... You being with Kim is the least of your problems."

"What do you mean by that?" she snapped.

"Your basement. Your ghost tried to kill me. Smaug. Your–"

"Okay. Sorry about the homicidal spook. I really appreciate you coming to help."

"We O'Ceallaighs stick together."

"Even when we can't get along,"

Kasy shyly approached the couch, "Uncle Henry?"

"Yes?"

"I know what will make you feel better."

"What's that?"

"Ice cream."

"Ice cream?"

"Yes, it will make you feel good."

Hego closed his eyes and groaned, "Shoot me. Just shoot me."

"I told you he could catch bullets," Kasy whispered to Sheki.

-The End-


End file.
